Sea of memories and Sand of time.......

Today, while i was walking on the shore, Waves roaring in and out, some calm and some thundering, a wild thought stuck my mind. Sea is like the collection of all the memories of each and every small instance that we go through in life. When every wave came to me, it made me realize that its like a random memory that hit you in your daily routine. Some small and gentle and some thundering which shake you tip to toe. But then, as they leave , i don't know, this line might seem contradictory to many, but they leave a smile on your face. A deep calm smile. All the memories are good, whether of enemies or of friends, whether it had something related to it which hurts you or something that had made you extravagant and super happy at times. Each and every memory of yours has some learning or some sweet instance associated to it, whether it was a unpleasing or a happy happy memory for you. So, they all become subtle and at the end leave a gentle smile on your face! :)

As, i was walking on the wet sand, thinking over my wild thought, i just looked back and tried to see my foot prints, but before i could see them, they were already vanished. The waves had already washed them away. I was shocked and don't know why, but scared too. A dreadful thought had taken over my mind. I thought that as i am walking, i am leaving footprints on sand.These foot prints were like the moments i go through at present, the people i meet and the emotions i go through. Will they all vanish as i go ahead ?

But, then like a sudden enlightenment , i realized what it meant. Actually, as waves are like our old memories, they come and go, this time when they came, they met the new ones, made them comfortable and made the new ones also join their group. All of them safe and sound and locked forever in the sea, the sea of memories. 

While i was standing, a big wave came and while it was leaving, it also took some sand from below my feet, thus making me feel uncomfortable and indecisive and unsure. But then, when it completely left, i saw i got even deeper in to the sand and even more stagnant and stable. So does memories do to you.

Calm at times and roars may a times. 

Once in a while, time comes, when sea roars so hard that it causes destruction, hurts people around you too.But then, again back to normal. Calm, soothing and mysterious.

These were just random observations, but appear to be true to me.Don't know about you!! :P 

As the theme of the blog, random thoughts. God !! i guess its a pattern. I go random during every holiday!! :P

But, this one(thought or observation) was quite a big one for me! :)

IT...........

People say how would you understand if you have not gone through.....

(i don agree! :P)

Can feel ITs presence

Can smell IT around

Can relate to IT, however good or bad it is

Can believe in IT, without any question.

Its a risk to trust IT so much

But its worth taking the risk

Letting things go

Letting them flow, the way they want to.

Though a lot may go into it

Still ready for the outcome,as it is destined

Have never really seen IT for myself

Still ready to give it all for IT.

These lines might seem to be senseless or incomplete to some, then this one is not for you. This one is only for those who can understand it !!

You may fill IT with whatever you want to. I have my IT.

Had written this months back, finally out of my drafts!! :P

My Life, People and Change.......

People around you.....

Last week had really been a busy one for me. To much happening in and around me. First, the art of living course in my college, most of which was pretty obvious. Some part of which was artificial too. A lot of things which were seen through the perceptions of a few people, the way think and the way the things worked for them. Not all situations work the same way for different people. Their is a lot more to life then just well defined paths. You just can't take already decided decisions for a particular situations. Circumstances and the people involved with the situation might affect your decision.

Second thing that came into my life was the College Trip. Enjoyed, talked,played, did adventure sports for the first time in my life. Some shades also went clear. A lot happened apart from the normal chit chat. I came to know how can small small things and discussions can pile up.

Thirdly, the last thing that came into my life and is right now is Mumbai. I am in Mumbai right now. I have come here to work for an NGO. It helps children to grow their interest in studies and also teaching them not to follow the adversities of the society like casticism, superstitions, etc.

Apart from all this, some other things also came into my notice. I came to know that after some point of time, even the strongest of people loose their confidence and so much so that they even try and change their selves. But, they don't know, this is nothing but temporary satisfaction and dilemmas that lead them to do such things. If a person was good enough to inspire others earlier, then by changing you, you are just gonno hurt yourself and nothing else. Just because the world around you (immediate world) around you is not as good as you are or not as the way you want it to be, doesn't mean that the rest of the world  is also as mean. Changing yourself just because of the people around you is the wort thing you could do to yourself. Sometimes, discussing things with wrong people also lead you to such situations, but you should be big enough to judge what is wrong and what is right. Things that suit you are not right always.  

All these realisations were very important for me and i hope that the people responsible for making me realise all this also realise these things and don't change themselves.Thats the worst thing you could do. Moving on and moving ahead of somethings is good, but moving ahead such that you change yourself is the worst thing you could do.

So, please don't change people. :) 

.

Do you have mirrors??

Mirrors...

They let you look into yourself. They make you realize, the way you appear to others. Scientifically, mirrors are known to reflect light. In turn, they also let you see your own reflection in them. Your real inner self. They make you see, how you look when you cry, they make you see ,how cool and calm you look, when you smile. Sometimes, they even tell you how well or poorly dressed you are(inner and outer both). But, did you ever realize that mirror images are your opposite. They are not actually you, but your reflection. They are similar to you, yet not you and the problem(or the good thing) is that they never lie. And if they do, well then you are in deep trouble. May be your mirrors are broken.

After all these observations, i realized some of us are lucky enough to carry our mirrors with us when we are sad, happy or just chilling. We can even talk to them. They are your friends. Do YOU have any mirrors? :P :D

Yet to finish..... The Final Climb!!

A few lines i wrote....

was not able to complete... will try and complete soon....

Moving on the shore alone for the final climb,

Calm breeze flowing all around,

No more responsibilities to bound,

Leaving my footprints on the sand of time.

Dilemmas.........

A lot of time is being spent these days thinking....

Am i going in the right direction? Is this what i wanted from me at this point of time ? Or this is what i am supposed to get as it is the best for me ? A lot of dilemmas going on my mind these days. But, this time i wont let it be  out that soon, because doing that earlier had rebounded hard on me. My earlier friends used to say that i keep myself guarded and generally not let it out, whats going inside me( that doesn't mean i don't talk. Well i talk a lot,almost endlessly, with those i am comfortable with :P ).

At that time, i thought that was how i liked things. But, now when i felt its time that i could be a bit more open about whats going inside me, i realized that my earlier state was better or was it not ?

Again a dilemma... whether it was wrong to be open or was it that it was with the wrong person or is it that am being judgmental ?

Well, i don't know it for myself till now.

For the time being, i think i should give myself sometime to think.

Dilemma again... Is this what i really wanted or it could have been better if had taken some other option ?

Well, i guess i have an answer to this one. This is something i got, while i was reading something written by barney. In some point of time in life you got to stand for what you believe and have to make decisions.You got to believe in yourself. So, thats what i am trying to do.

Biggest Dilemma... (Might not be only for me), but right now the biggest problem for me, is in prioritizing things. Sometimes, its difficult to choose between work, interest and relaxation. Most of the time, i end up giving up my interests because i have to work, but somehow not able to concentrate on that. So, end up doing nothing.

All these things are bothering me at this point of time, but it might not be just me. I might be the one out with it, may be you are not. Because, you might not want to face it. But, trust me, it feels better once you know it all.

It helped me in atleast choosing relaxation and interest over my work.

Because these days i realized, i do everything except work. I somehow just can't concentrate on it. But, its atleast better then doing nothing.

Thats what i did. Made myself realize about whats going in and around me.It worked for me. Might work for you as well. :)

Its been a Month.. O.o

Its been exactly a month, since my last post. This one is just to break the monotony of not posting. A lot to say, and a lot of new things also happening in life, but might share them latter. At this time, i should be studying. I am on my midst of my mid terms, with one of the most difficult papers scheduled for tomorrow, but here i am writing this post , at this time of the night. The date made me realize that its been a month and i will not let it extend more then that.

Well, about my life, its a bit confusing these days. I am not able to decide my priorities and my surroundings. But, i guess with time it might be fine again. Recently, had a trip out with tweety. Though, the place we went to, was a bit boring, but the drive to and from that place was awesome.

New one again. A friend of mine. Noddy.

Noddy, behaving a bit strange these days. May be, he has a lot of things going in him at the same moment. But, i don't know.

Another new one. Lets call him Barney.

A bit out of touch these days. May be back to normal after sometime.

So, thats it for now. I need to study. Have an exam to give, few hours latter. Will be back with some more after the exams.  :D

Complex... But not all the time....

Life as it used to be when i was in school.. friends all around...
friends for different situations :) friends with whom you laugh,
friends with whom you share secrets, friends with whom you take advise
like an elderly,a bunch of bestest friends, a bunch of hi bye friends, a bunch of
studying friends and a bunch of junior friends and yes some tuition friends.


you were never alone whatever the situation be... you always had 3-4 people
to support you. Not because they felt forced to support you because they cared
enough for you.


Life moves on and so do you..


I thank and remember each and every school friend of mine..


I miss all the classes we bunked together
i miss all the dumb charred games we played
The silly dares that we did
all the scolding we got together
all the punishments we experienced together ,many a times just to give company to our friends


Every single trip to our popular hangouts instead of attending an extra class
every single chowmein plate that we faught for
fight for that last sip of pepsi
that fight after eating your friends tiffin before break


I miss all those times we talked and i "The Counselor" solved problems.
(i was known amongst my friends that way)


Most importantly i miss each and every person with whom i had a fight
you were the people who helped me being a better person.
you helped me realise why i have friends.
But i am sorry if i had ever hurt you.


miss you all guys.. all my school-mates..
my school life would have been incomplete without you all


As i said.. life moves on and so did I..


I also moved on and now am in a different phase of life.


Here i have a lot of people to talk to..
Have people who might stand beside me
But the difference is, its not because they care..
its just because.....


But finally after half an year i have found some friends apart from my "Group"..
a person who is like a guide to me, whom i respect,
then a couple of good friends too.
And yes a friend who is not in my group 
but i still love to hangout with.(tweety)

Initially, college started at an happy note.
Everything just near to perfect. But, as we all know..
Only one thing is constant in life that is change.
my perfect life also changed a bit.

There was loneliness which could not be filled
by whatever i do. 

But, then i talked to someone, whom i termed as a guide(BJM),who told me.

its just soo soo temporary

  u find best frienz

  u find bfs gfs..

  dey cum ..

  go away frienz are frienz..  but den u accept that u cud get away too  but u're mom dad are gonna be dere   

And a lot more.. of course i can't share the whole of it. But, that was something which
really brought back life to me. After this conversation, i also talked to one of my bestest
friends named bella. And coincidently bella also told me the same as BJM did.
That was the time i thanked  BJM.


So, after so many ups and downs...
I have managed to find some good friends, BJM and tweety and af-course my group too..


At the end i realized...

• Life is not even that bad as it seems at times.

• You just need to explore more and give it some more time.

• And someone told me,"Stop thinking much,just eat and have fun!!" :P :P

So,thats what i am doing and i think that you should also do, whenever feeling low.
Life is beautiful, just change your way of looking at it.
It is not as complex as it seems to be at times..

That strange Feeling of Being special!!

This is the first time I am sharing this..

Since,I was a child , I have been  enjoying favors by people (and by doing nothing.. :P)

Like, earlier as a child,  I used to get toffees and chocolates ,not my people i know ,but by shopkeepers , as a gift..( i know it seems a bit unreal..but its true :P )

And yes..i can never forget that..

When i was in second standard we went to buy some plastic stuff from a shop..
While my parents were busy shopping.. i saw a sky blue water bottle and really wanted to buy it.
My parents resisted , as i had bought one already , a day before..
That shopkeeper gave it to me as a gift ,as i was leaving the shop (and mind u it was not an ordinary water bottle.. :D )

Then, i always used to get my seat exchanged in a train whenever i got an upper birth..(and generally children are forced to exchange for an upper birth :P)

The free stuff that we get with certain products.. i always got something extra along with it..
Remember we used to get tattoos with boomer, one tattoo with one boomer... i got a bundle of over hundred tattoos as the shopkeeper said, "Its okay have it. I have plenty ...!! : ) "

There were many more, but these are the few I remember.. 

But latter, 
Now as i grew up
I thought that "MAGIC"..( as i thought it to be as a child) has Vanished!!

But, now after years... 

2-3 days ago, i was traveling via metro..
All my friends had finally grabbed a seat except me. Suddenly, a little girl came up to me and said in her sweet voice , "I and my mother are leaving.. you can have our seat..!! " then i saw that at a seat , very far off from where i was standing , her mother was also there, showing me by gestures that i have send her , come up here...(I had not even talked to them or seen them before in metro...)  
Then also it happened.. 
All my friends were shocked and so was I ..But Happy too!! :D

Well, I came to know that, THAT MAGIC was still there .. but i had just stopped noticing it..

The reason why i shared all this with you is : 

• Everybody experiences such small incidents in life but ignore them.

• It did make me feel good in my bad times, so i hope it will do it's work for you too...!!  

• I think we should always remember them..because they make you realize that you are also special and in bad times reminds you....... 

         Dude... i am not that bad.. i am special.. i always have that MAGIC around me.. 

So, enjoy that feeling of being special... :D :D

First day after a break........

Ya..Ya...
First day in college after holidays........

Started off well...

:) -> Today, i was the first one to see the morning fog and to get ready.
:( -> The very sight of fog outside pissed me off.


:) -> Was the first one to my class along with one of my friends.
:( ->Got bored for initial 15-20 mins.

:) ->Wished everybody Happy New Year.
:( ->In course also had to accept wishes from people i don't care much about.

:) ->Then all my friends reached and we talked, talked and talked...
:( ->Had to stop it for the registration.

:) ->Was eagerly waiting for our breakfast (snacks provided to us by our college :D)
:( ->We didn't get it on time and had to wait till registration.

:) ->Finally had my breakfast and roamed around in the college after a long time.
:( ->Had classes on the very first day.

:) ->Got a lot of interesting stuff for my cell today.
:( ->It got discharged, waiting for it to get alive again.

:) ->Played something for which i was waiting for, since 1 month.
:( ->Had to play against an idiotic creature with some irritating comments of his...arrgghh...didn't say anything coz didn't want to ruin my mood.


:) ->Realized some people are never gonno change and so am i...bring it on... :D
:( ->No..no more bad stuff....